I Confess....

Last month, I studied the discipline of confession. I have to confess (hah hah) that I wasn't very excited about this one. Mainly because it was one of the corporate disciplines, and I wasn't too keen on confessing to someone. I have always struggled with letting others see my faults and sins. In this chapter, Foster writes that "we feel that everyone else has advanced so far into holiness that we are isolated and alone in our sin. We cannot bear to reveal our failures and shortcomings to others. We imagine that we are the only ones who have not stepped onto the high road to heaven. Therefore, we hid ourselves from one another and live in veiled lies and hypocrisy" (p.145). It saddens me to think I feel paralyzed in sharing my burdens with others. God did not place us on this earth to live alone in isolation. "We are freed to hear the unconditional call of God's love and to confess our needs openly before our brothers and sisters. We know we are not alone in our sin....in acts of mutual confession we release the power that heals" (p. 145-146).

I was unsure of what to "do" this month for confession. Foster gave an amazing example in his book of a diary of confession (pp. 149-150). Basically, after prayer and meditation, he wrote down anything that came to mind that needed healing and forgiveness from his childhood. The next day, he did the same thing for his adolescence, and finally he wrote down anything from his adulthood. Later he brought his writings to a trusted friend and shared what he wrote with him. Then his friend took the paper, ripped it up and prayer over him. I decided to do the same thing and I brought my writing to one of my best friends, Allison. It was extremely difficult for me to be so open and vulnerable, but I cannot tell you how free I felt afterward. It's amazing how much guilt and shame I had carried around "hiding" these struggles and sins.

It is so amazing that God has given us the ability to listen to others and forgive in His name. Foster emphasizes that private confession is just as valid, but there is a sweet freedom in sharing our burdens with others. Foster writes that "the Scripture teaches us that all believers are priests before God: 'You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood' (1Peter 2:9)" (p. 147). Foster quotes Dietrich Bonhoeffer who writes that "a man who confesses his sins in the presence of a brother knows that he is no longer alone with himself; he experiences the presence of God in the reality of the other person" (p.148). I am so thankful I was able to share my sins with Allison. I felt God speaking through her to me, and it was incredible.

Now that it is July, I am on to the discipline of worship. I have decided for July I will only listen to worship music in the car and while I work out. I also want to work on playing the piano and guitar more. I'll let you know how it goes!

Thanks for reading friends! :)