Submission

I have to be honest - I wasn't thrilled with the idea of focusing on submission. I have always had this distorted view of submission as a bad thing. I just saw it as a form of oppression (men over women, master over slave, etc.) After reading this chapter I realize how incredibly wrong I was. I really think this may be my favorite discipline so far.

Foster starts off saying that the whole reason we have discipline is freedom. He writes that "every Discipline has its corresponding freedom. What freedom corresponds to submission? It is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way."

Wow. How incredibly difficult and wonderful that sounds. It has really been interesting to look at how I interact with others and think about how often I want "to get my own way." God asks us to let go of our need to be right and allow us to focus our concern on Him and our neighbors.

I have definitely found the most difficult place for me to "submit" is at work. It's so tempting to complain and moan and grown when I don't get my way. Or to gossip and look down on others who I think are making my life (and even their own life) miserable. I pray God can continue to mold my heart into a servant's heart, especially at work. There are so many little things that get me down at work that don't matter. Instead, I should be seeking out opportunities to serve the needs of others instead of complaining about how my needs are being met.

Foster says the best way to handle matters of submission is to say nothing. Another hard one for me. I definitely don't have as much trouble in the moment with a person in saying nothing. But I do tend to complain or worry or analyze about people or situations I can't control. How wonderful it would be to just say nothing and let it go.

I hope to seek out ways to show my submission to others. And I don't just mean to those "in authority." Foster lists 7 Acts of Submission:

1. Triune God

2. Scripture

3. Family

4. Neighbors, people in daily life

5. Believing community

6. Broken and despised

7. The World

This month I wanted to focus on two areas of submission. I desperately want to seek more time with God (especially in solitude) in daily prayer where I simply listen for His will. The other area I want to focus on is my neighbors and those I interact with on a daily basis.

I will end with a verse from Philippians that kind of sums up where I am seeking my heart to go:

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interest of others." (Phillipians 2:3-4)

From Solitude to Submission

Well, it's month three of my Discipline adventure. Month 2 on Solitude did not go as well as month 1 of Simplicity, but like I said at the beginning, this year is not about "mastering" each discipline in a month. It's about jump-starting my desire to work at them for the rest of my life. I also think God really wants me to work on simplifying my life and finances and direct them more towards Him so I got more out of that month.

I am finding that each discipline is interconnected with the other disciplines so I have may more chances to work on all of them. EXCITING! I was able to do a whole day of not speaking and that was incredibly convicting. I really saw how much I depend on speech to defend myself, complain, whine, gossip....it was actually quite liberating to just sit and listen all day.

I have read the chapter on Submission, my next discipline, and I am very excited about this month. I will definitely be seeking out more times of solitude this month. I look forward to sharing more with you, but I have been sick all weekend so I'm little tired and out of it so I'll be signing off!

Thanks for reading! :)

I am thankful for....

Thanksgiving has come and gone. It was another wonderful time spent with family and friends. I am currently in Oklahoma with my parents and brother. We spent Thanksgiving with my aunt and uncle, my cousin and her husband and their adorable baby, Elise, my uncle's mother and my grandfather. We had a delicious meal (my aunt and cousin are wonderful cooks and my cousin's husband is a chef!) and a great visit. I am so thankful for my family. I decided to make a list of the things I am thankful for so here goes!

My parents and their unconditional love

My brother and his girlfriend, Carrie

My grandparents in heaven

My Granddaddy who is still with us

My aunts and uncles and cousins and their families

Thanksgiving meals with my family

Time off from my job :)

My teammates and co-workers

Having a job I love and being able to support myself

My students

My friends

My roommate Sarah and her dog (my niece) Mattie

Having a home

Being able to apply to grad school

Visiting Oklahoma and safe travel

Books and a love for reading

Sleep (and getting more sleep on vacation)

Prayer and time with God

Braum's milk (oh, how I miss you Braum's)

Movies in 3D :) (Tangled and MegaMind were AWESOME!)

Watching movies with friends

Laughter

Pictures and the memories they capture

My computer and its ability to help me stay connected to others

My health

My mental health :)

My counselor

Support of my friends and family

Being able to worship in my church with fear of persecution

Soldiers and troops protecting our country

My loving church family

My mentor, Brenda

My small group

Reading the Bible

Wow....I am blessed. The more I have studied solitude this month, the more God has shown me the important of balance in growing a more intimate relationship with Him and serving and loving the body of Christ. Both are vital and important.

I am thankful for you all....hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

A note from Granny

I am currently at my parents' house in Katy visiting them for the weekend. For my past few visits, I have been trying to go through the stuff in my "room" at their house. I have too much stuff ESPECIALLY since I don't live with them anymore. I just finished going through my desk and I found tons of letters and cards I have received over the years. I wanted to share one in particular with you.

I found a note with music and hearts on the front to find the familiar script of my grandmother on the inside. She and I wrote to each other fairly regularly over the years especially when I went to college. I loved getting notes from her in college even though it was sad to see how she was growing weaker and her memory was not as sharp. Even her handwriting was not the same as I saw it was very messy and uncontrolled.

This note had definitely been written years ago. Her handwriting was extremely neat and tidy (the handwriting I remember) and her memory was as sharp as ever. And she signed it Love, Grandpa and Granny. My grandpa had passed away in 2000 so this note was from a ways back. She mentioned that she got a picture from me holding a music award and that she was not surprised I had made the newspaper staff so this note must have been sent when I was in 7th grade (1998). I apparently wrote an article about "The Perfect Teacher" and had sent it to her. She praised it and told me that I "have knowledge beyond your years about a school teacher's life." That made me cry and smile. :)

My grandmother has always been my main inspiration for wanting to become a teacher. I always looked up to her and wanted to be like her. Losing her last January was extremely hard on me...much harder than I expected. I miss her everyday, but I know she's at peace now and that comforts me. I am also thankful that she was able to live to see me become a teacher.

I love you Granny and Grandpa...I miss you both dearly.

Solitude

Well, after a week of studying the discipline of solitude, I wanted to share with you what I have learned.

Foster starts this chapter off saying "Jesus calls us from loneliness to solitude." (p.96) Boy, do I need that! This chapter honestly scared me a little as I really struggle with being alone. I suffer from depression and it rears its ugly head ferociously when I have been alone for long periods of time. I'm an extrovert - I feel energized after spending time with people. My thoughts turn sad and dark when I feel loneliness creep upon me. It's not a fun place to be. So naturally, I wasn't thrilled with the idea of practicing solitude. But this just showed me how important this discipline is for me to learn and I am glad to be doing it for my second month. I feel it will strengthen my ability to practice the inward disciplines, especially prayer and meditation.

My fear of studying solitude quickly disappeared as I read this chapter more thoroughly. I was excited to see how working on the discipline of solitude could actually help with my depression. Foster writes later that "we can cultivate an inner solitude and silence that sets us free from loneliness and fear. Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment." (p. 96) I LOVE that last sentence: inner fulfillment. My time alone does not have to be spent worrying about tomorrow or wishing I was spending time with someone else. My time alone can be spent being filled with the Spirit of God.

Foster also emphasizes that we should not seek constant solitude. You need both fellowship and solitude in your life. He writes that "we must seek out the recreating stillness of solitude if we want to be with others meaningfully." (p. 98) It's all about balance, my friends. That seems to be my theme for this year. Balance. :)

I am looking forward to this month, but I know it will be difficult. Please pray for me! Here is what I have decided as my goals for this month -

1. Take a break from facebook for the rest of November. I feel like facebook is mainly just a way for me to CONSTANTLY be in contact with people. Just another way to never be alone. I don't want to quit it completely because I feel like it's an excellent way to keep in touch with people and connect with people from my past. But I do need a break. This also relates to the discipline of simplicity as facebook really does complicate my life at times....wasting away precious hours. :)

2. Take advantage of "little solitudes" I find throughout the day. Foster gives the examples of sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic or the moments before you get up in the morning or slipping outside to enjoy the night before going to bed. He writes that "these tiny snatches of time are often lost to us....they are little moments that help us to be genuinely present where we are." (p. 106) I have several little solitudes (before AM duty, lunch break, planning period) during the school day I could take advantage of and use to rejuvenate. I pray God will help me use them more wisely! :)

3. Take 3-4 prayer walks this month. I find it so hard to pray to God and really LISTEN to Him when I am just sitting or laying in my bed. I would love to take time to walk out in God's creation and seek His heart.

4. Try to live one ENTIRE day without words at all. This one will be a toughie. :) I love to talk. I love to text and email and chat and call and laugh and....well, you get the picture. I think it would be INCREDIBLY interesting to see how a day goes without using any words or form of communication. Obviously, I couldn't do this while teaching. :) HAH! That would be hilarious though. I do have a couple bossy kids I could put in charge, but I doubt that would last for the whole day. My plan is to do this on Saturday, November 20th. If you think about it, pray for me on that day. Pray that I am able to hear from God and really clear my head from all the distractions of life. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes. :)

Well, once again, thanks for reading friends! I'll be sure to keep you updated as the month goes on. This should be another great month!

From Simplicity to Solitude

Well, I made it through one month of discipline-mania! :) I am really glad I started out with simplicity. I learned so much about how seeking God's Kingdom first and laying all my anxieties at His feet truly simplifies my life. I still have a long way to go, but I feel ready to make more changes in mu everyday life.

My shopping fast was a huge eye opener. For one, my bank account is MUCH larger than it usually is at the first of the month. My credit card bill was about a third of last month's. It's incredible how much I spent on stuff I obviously didn't need. I went shopping with a friend on Sunday and it was amazing how my mindset had changed in what I thought I "needed" to get. I am hoping this will stay with me. This fast also showed me that when I'm bored or stressed, there are many other ways I can spend my time beside shopping. :) I also found I can even go to a store and GASP! not buy anything.

There is plenty I still want to work on even though the months is over. I am still praying about how God wants me to give to others more both financially and with my own time. I also need to continue to not be anxious about ANYTHING and give it all to GOd in prayer.

I am very excited about this year since this first month was so awesome! Stay tuned for my plans in November with SOLITUDE. :)

Healthy living....a'int so easy!

Well, I'm still plugging away at trying to lower my cholesterol. I go back in a few weeks to be re-tested so prayers would be appreciated!

On one hand, I have been doing really well. I have been exercising 4 times a week for the past couple of months. I have been running, weight lifting and even swimming some. I have really enjoyed being more active. I am hoping this will really help my numbers go down...I know it has to a little because before my physical I was going to the gym like once a month. :)

My eating habits have been harder to change. The first few weeks I was doing really well: cooking more at home, eating more fruits and veggies. These past few weeks though I have slipped a little: eating out more, getting ice cream A LOT. I am going to the grocery store today and I made a list of meals to make so I am hoping to get back on track. I have noticed a major difference in my ordering habits though. I am trying to make healthier choices like a side salad or fruit instead of french fries or brown rice instead of fried.

I do know that I need to work harder on eating better. Prayers in that area would be appreciate too. :)

Keeping it Simple

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life... can any of your worrying add a single hour to your span of life?... Therefore do not worry saying, "What will we eat?" or "What will we drink" or "What will we wear?"... indeed your heavenly Father knows you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Selected verses from Matthew 6:25-33)

This has been the theme verse of my first week of focusing on simplicity. Foster emphasized it in the simplicity chapter. He talked about how we should not live in anxiety. If we are seeking the kingdom of God we will not be anxious. This was definitely a lesson I needed to be re-taught on. Over and over.

My first week or so of my journey has been awesome. I have really enjoyed reflecting on what it means to live simply. Just the simple of act of giving up "fun" shopping has been an eye-opener. It has only been 10 days and it has been a struggle! It was probably ten times worse that I am off of work so I have had a lot more free time. There were so many times this past week I have wanted to go browse Target or check out some new shoes at DSW. But I DIDN'T so I celebrate that. It really showed me what a bad habit I have gotten myself into. I hope to keep this lesson in my heart after this month is over.

As I continue this month, I will be praying about ways to give. Not just in the monetary sense, however I need to become more faithful in that area.

As always, thanks for reading!

Simplicity

In "Celebration of Discipline", Richard Foster begins the chapter on simplicity by writing, "Simplicity is freedom." (p. 79) Isn't that so true? Sometimes I feel the gadgets "supposed" to make our lives easier, the clothes that are "supposed" to make us look cooler and the things we are "supposed" to have just make our lives more complicated and difficult. Reading this chapter on simplicity was very convicting. I struggle constantly with worshipping material items and using shopping as an escape from stress, anxiety or even boredom. I feel strongly that God wishes me to address these issues in my first month of study.

Foster writes that "the Christian Discipline of simplicity is an inward reality that results in an outward life-style." (p. 79) Foster writes about three inner attitudes and ten controlling principles for the outward expression of simplicity. He does warn that simplicity can turn into idolatry itself and legalism if taken too far. Balance is the key to achieving simplicity.

Foster emphasizes that "The central point for the Discipline of simplicity is to seek the kingdom of God and the righteousness of his kingdom FIRST and then everything necessary will come in its proper order." (p. 86) Our focal point must be God and His kingdom....not simplicity itself. "To receive what we have as a gift from God is the first inner attitude of simplicity...to know that it is God's business, and not ours, to care for what we have is the second inner attitude...[and] to have our goods available to others marks the third inner attitude of simplicity" (p. 88-89)

His list of outward expressions of simplicity were very inspiring and I have decided to use them as guidelines for my first month of study (and hopefully beyond this first month!):

1. Buy things for usefulness rather than status (p. 90)

2. Reject anything you have become addicted to (p. 90)

3. Get into the habit of giving things away (p.91)

4. Don't give into getting all the "new gadgets" (p.92)

5. Enjoy things without having to own them (p. 93)

6. Appreciate nature and God's creating (p.93)

7. Be wary of "buy now, pay later" schemes (p. 94)

8. Use "plain, honest speech" (p.94)

9. Don't buy or use anything that promotes oppression of others (p.95)

10. Get rid of anything that distracts you from seeking first the kingdom of God (p.96)

These are just guidelines of course, and as Foster warned, I don't want to take these too strictly. A couple goals I have for October are: 1. No shopping for myself besides groceries/toiletries. 2. Get rid of things I don't need/use 3. Look at what I spend my time doing/using and see if anything is an unhealthy addiction

I'll let you know how it is going at the end of the month. Thanks for reading!

Thanks God :)

God is truly good. It is amazing how He speaks to me and reaffirms me. Just yesterday he affirmed my desire to study the disciplines this next year. I was at Half Priced Books with my mom and was looking through the Christian book section. There on the shelf was a Celebration of Discipline workbook to accompany the book. There are sections on each discipline and it is structured so you can do it for 12 weeks or, you guessed it, 12 months. It is also flexible that you do not have to do the disciplines in any specific order. Amazing.

I have decided to update twice each month on my journey. At the beginning of the month I will talk about the discipline and what I hope to do and learn. At the end of the month I will share what I have learned and what other questions arose from my study. I'm very excited and I hope you will stay with me on this. :)

I will update soon about simplicity, but now I have much more to read so I will get back with you soon.

I'm ready for a change! Let the games begin!

I have decided to change my life! :)

How will you do this, Kim? You might be asking yourself. Well, readers, I plan to do this one day at a time for a year. Have you ever read Celebrations of Discipline by Richard Foster? If you haven't, stop reading my blog and go read it right now!

OK, have you read it? Good. It's a pretty amazing book. My wonderful cousin, Amanda got it for me as a high school graduation gift and I read it way back in the year 2004 (that was 6 years ago people!!) but I definitely did not get everything out of it I thought I could. A few years ago I picked it up to read again and read a few chapters. For those of you who did not follow my directions earlier (shame on you!) and have not read the book, each chapter covers a different discipline. For me, the book shows how discipline must be worked at constantly in order to achieve more depth in our spirituality and relationship with God.

I have decided to read this book again, but in a much different way. There are 13 chapters, one of which is an introduction to the spiritual disciplines. That leaves 12! (Yay 1st grade math!) Since there are 12 months in a year, I got a bright idea. WHY NOT FOCUS ON ONE DISCIPLINE A MONTH! Wowee! What an idea. So that's what I plan to do faithful blog readers. I will choose one discipline to study and implement in my life more intentionally. I figure I can handle reading one chapter in a month, right? (This from the girl that reads 4 or 5 books at a time. haha)

Foster separates the disciplines into three categories: the inward disciplines, the outward disciplines and the corporate disciplines. The inward disciplines include meditation, prayer, fasting and study. The outward disciplines include simplicity, solitude, submission, service. The corporate disciplines include confession, worship, guidance and celebration.

My plan is to focus on one discipline each month by first reading the chapter on that discipline at the beginning of the month and praying about how God wants me to implement it in my life. I won't necessarily go in order of the book, but see where God leads me on this journey. I am a very task-oriented person and even in my spiritual life I need structure. I know this won't be a "to-do" list where at the end of each month I'll be like "Yes! I mastered worship! Now on to prayer!" I just feel like I need to take a step back and really dive in deeper to each of these disciplines. I am really excited about it and hope you will go on this journey with me. I will always update at the first of the month to let you know what I will be working on, but I will also continue to write about random things because I love the randomness. :)

Now, for October I have decided to focus on....

SIMPLICITY!

I really feel like that's where God wants me to start. I have felt just a heaviness of "extra baggage" on my shoulders and I want God to simplify my life. I want to follow Him and worship Him only. Stay tuned for more on simplicity.

My Not-so Little Brother

On Sunday I am heading to Oklahoma for a visit family road trip. I am quite excited. :) My main reason for going is to see my little brother who attends OSU in Stillwater. He is a junior and I can still not believe he is over halfway through with college. When I headed off to college, Mark was only 13 and honestly, I still think of him as that annoying little guy. :)

Mark and I had a typical sibling relationship - we got along, but we definitely fought quite a bit. I remember being in a department store with my mother while I whined, "Mom, Mark bit me!" and showed her his teeth marks on my hand. He then responded with, "Well, she bit me first!!" and he showed his own bit wound. We argued a lot and were definitely not quiet about it.

Even though we fought often, it was all done with love. I truly did care about my little brother and I know he liked me too (Despite what he tells you!) He loved to spend time with me and my friends. I remember him staying up late to watch movies with me and my friends at my 16th birthday party sleepover. I said he was an annoying pest at the time, but I honestly loved that he liked to spend time with me.

When I left for college in 2004, I really think that helped our relationship move from just siblings to good friends. We have talked more on the phone and shared more about our lives then we ever did when we were younger. I am amazed how this little 13-year old I left in 2004 has transformed into this intelligent, awesome man. Heis excelling in a difficult chemical engineering major and has found a wonderful girlfriend who he has dated for over four years.

He'll probably be incredibly embarrassed I did this, but my desire to embarrass him constantly has not changed so YAY! :) I love you Mark, and I am very proud of you. I can't wait to see you next week.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

Today is my parents' 34th anniversary.

My parents have always been amazing role models in my life and their marriage is no different. I have been amazed at their relationship and how they have been together so long in a world where divorce is very common. They are not perfect and they are not "happy" all the time...but they deeply love each other and share a strong faith in God.

I feel blessed to have such wonderful parents and such a strong example of a good marriage. It has given me high standards on my future husband. I am thankful for being raised in such a loving home. I am biased but they truly are the best parents ever. :)

Hope you enjoy a couple of fun pictures from their wedding that my mom just put up on facebook. I especially like the last one because of my dad's AWESOME outfit (Sarah, I think Kevin should wear that at your wedding haha!)

It would be my honor, to be your maid of honor!

A few weeks ago my best friend got engaged. Her wedding will be next year and I get the privilege of being her maid of honor. We have always talked about being each other's maid of honors (I guess NOW she will be my matron of honor hah) but also joked about how we would never get married and become old spinsters. The time, however, has now come for my lovely friend, Sarah to tie the knot!

I could not be more happy for Sarah. She has found an amazing guy and I know they will be happy. It is a bittersweet time for me though because I have lived with Sarah since I was a freshman in college. (Technically I didn't junior year, but we were basically at each other's places every day so I still count it. tee hee) It will be incredibly weird to not live with her. I know the time has come to move on though....I have felt God preparing my heart for this. Doesn't make it any easier though.

I am incredibly excited about our last year together as roommates though. It will be awesome and I look forward to helping her plan the big day. I feel so blessed to get to be her maid of honor and I hope I serve the title well.

I love you Sarah! :)

I'm officially old

This is the third weekend in a row I have not been able to sleep in past 8. Last Sunday I was in bed at 10 the night before and awake at 5:45 AM. What is happening to me??? I used to be very proud of my "sleeping in" abilities. I could easily sleep in until 10, 11 or even past noon at times. Now that I am a "veteran" working adult, that seems to have gone out the window. I remember making fun of my dad and calling him "old" because he was in bed so early and always up before the sun. Well, Dad, I guess I'm old too. ;-)

Even though I miss sleeping in, I am glad to be getting in a better sleep pattern. I know that is better for me and I actually feel like I have more energy now that I am consistently getting 7-8 hours a sleep a night instead of 6ish during the week and 10+ on the weekends.

This whole adult thing is a weird transition....but it's happening so I guess I better jump on board.

But I still can't believe I have already been up 3 and a half hours and it's Saturday and not even noon! :)

Here's the skinny....

I have never been a health nut. Junk food is one of my favorite things in the world. I crave chocolate. I love snacking on chips and candy. I truly believe ice cream is one of the major food groups. I know (in excess) this stuff is bad for me, but it's so hard when it tastes so good.

I have always struggled with my appearance and weight along with my junk food tendencies. I used to think I was "fat" in high school....I was 25 pounds LIGHTER in high school so obviously I WAS NOT FAT! Now that I'm older, I have a much less skewed view of my body. I don't think I'm fat, but I know there is room for improvement. I don't want to be ultra skinny, but slimming down a bit definitely wouldn't hurt and I really just want to be healthier.

I recently got an adult physical, just to make sure the 'ol body was healthy. :) Well, my blood test results came back and apparently my cholesterol is a little high. :/ Yikes! I thought that was just for old people! (JK Mom and Dad haha) It did freak me out though and really made me think about what I choose to eat and how often I exercise or vice versa. This really shook me up and I really don't want to be worried about my health at age 24!!

So I decided, here and now, that I'm not going to let my arteries get clogged and wait until my heart explodes like a ticking time bomb (OK, a little dramatic...sorry tee hee) I want to make some goals for myself and I decided to share them with YOU! :)

1. EXERCISE!!!!! - I'm going to start with 30-45 min. 2-3 times a week. (Start small and build up....it's better than once every 3 weeks like I have been doing)

2. One treat per grocery trip - I tend to load up on the sugary snacks when I go shopping so ONLY ONE! (I can't say none because well, c'mon!)

3. One treat during the week and one treat on the weekend - I also tend to grab ice cream after school when I've had a rough day or I'm tired or I just feel like ice cream haha...so I need to limit myself. :)

4. Cook dinner at LEAST 4 times a week at home -This will be a toughie....but it needs to happen!

5. Eat breakfast every morning- I have already started doing this, but I want to keep it up! :)

6. Get 7-8 hours of sleep! - That means 10:30 bedtime on school nights....so hard, but so necessary!!

Thanks for reading....

I MOVED!!! :)

It's been awhile blog fans! I am sure you have missed me desperately! ;-)

There are two big reasons for my absence:

1. I started teaching again at the end of July....kindergartners keep you BUSY!

2. I MOVED!!!! :)

The second reason actually wore me out more than the first if you can believe it. Moving sucks....big time. BUT this time was not as bad as I had thought it was going to be. It probably helped that I was SUPER excited to leave my former residence which I affectionally referred to as "the crap shack". It's funny but that place was 10,000 times nicer than the place before it...as scary as that is. :)

My current residence is an absolute DREAM COME TRUE. I am 10 minutes from work. I live in almost brand new apartments in a super nice community. My room and bathroom are AMAZING. And I still live my best friend. Life is good. :)

If you would like to visit me....PLEASE DO! I am actually proud of this place. Not only because it is nice but also because I moved ON MY OWN without my parents' help at all. I am officially a grown-up. I mean I drove a U-haul by myself. I have hit the big leagues.

Hopefully now that I am settled there will be more blog posts....until then, bye friends!

Hungry for more books....

This summer has definitely been the "summer of books" for me. I have already read 10 books and now I am on number 11. I remember LOVING to read when I was little. Reading was always such an enjoyable activity for me because it was an opportunity to learn more(NERD ALERT) or escape from reality or discover new characters and adventures. I remember looking forward to every Harry Potter book release and devouring each book within 24 hours....even the 800+ ones. I had to know what happened and I had to know FAST! I have always been a fast reader and that definitely comes in handy with my need to know the endings of books...however sometimes I feel like I miss a lot of things in books because I read so fast. BUT I definitely am glad I read quickly. I would be too impatient if I didn't. :)

I noticed a huge decline in my reading at the end of high school and into college. I still read, but not as much as I used to. I attribute this mainly to the fact that my teachers started pouring on the reading assignments and after having to read hundreds of required texts each week, I wasn't exactly keen to the idea of reading for fun.

I am really happy to have found my joy for reading again. This summer it has seemed to explode! I wanted to share with you guys what books I read and talk about a few of them that I highly reccommend. (I thought all of them were good though....I would not have finished them if I hadn't!)

Confessions of a Good Christian Girl by Tammy Maltby

Unashamed Lineage of Grace: Book 2 (Story of Rahab) by Francine Rivers

The Girls from Ames by Jeffrey Zaslow - Amazing story of the 40 year friendship of 11 girls from Ames, Iowa. I loved this book not only because of the interesting stories about each of the girls, but the author included studies and ideas about friendship and the impact is has on women. I also love hearing about people's lives. Awesome read!

Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini - Just read it. One of the most incredible stories I have ever read. Incredibly sad book though so if you don't like sad books I would steer clear of this one....but man, it is great!

The Marland Tragedy by Kim Brumely- If you live or have lived in Ponca and you like history, you will enjoy this book. If you live anywhere else...you probably won't find it as cool as I did! :)

Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer

The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud by Ben Sherwood - I really enjoyed this book a lot more than I thought I was going to. And now I have ANOTHER excuse to see the movie besides wanting to drool over Zac Efron. (not that I need another excuse...haha)

My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor

In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner I loved this book! It was so much better than Best Friends Forever. I loved the characters and could really relate to Rose. :) Now, I want to see that movie too!

I am currently reading The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I can already tell it's going to be one of my favorite books. It's incredibly sad but funny and moving all at the same time.

Just in case you care, here are some other books I have read that I highly reccommend. They are my favorite books of all time! Oh, and if you have books to reccommend for me, PLEASE comment. I love book suggestions.

Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult

My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

Please Stop Laughing at Me by Jodee Blanco

Mark of the Lion Trilogy by Francine Rivers

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J. K. Rowling

Vampire-mania

I figure I have two sets of friends: ones who LOVE Twilight and that other group of losers.

JUST KIDDING!

Or AM I?

OK, well I am kidding about the loser part, but I do notice that either my friends embrace vampire-mania with open arms....or they hate it with the firey passion of hell. Honestly, I will totally admit that I have been swept up in the vampire hoop-la and I'm loving every minute of it. I blame my brother's girlfriend for getting me hooked on this stuff. :) She introduced me to Twilight and Sookie Stackhouse and now Vampire Diaries. I am currently re-obsessed with Twilight. Most likely due to the Eclipse movie just coming out and that I just finished reading The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner (both of which were AWESOME by the way).

But I have to wonder, what the heck do us zillions of twi-hards see in this vampire stuff? I mean really? The concept of vampires is....creepy and disturbing. I mean THEY DRINK BLOOD PEOPLE! I remember being a small child watching Are You Afraid of the Dark? and the ONLY episode I was truly terriffied of involved a vampire. I couldn't watch it or I would have nightmares for weeks. I mean I loathed vampires. They were pretty much equal to Satan himself.

What changed?

Well, Edward (aka R Patz) entered my life. :) HAH! OK, I'll admit that I have dreamed of Robert Pattinson whisking me off for an eternity of love and bliss. But I also know that Edward, his character, is FICTIONAL....and that twilight is not the perfect love story. In fact, it's quite ridiculous. So why do I love it? Well, I have decided to enlighten you all with what I LOVE and HATE about twilight. Enjoy!

What I LOVE about Twilight:

Edward - I'm team Edward all the way. He's dreamy, never gets old (literally), and is pretty much the ultimate bodyguard. Plus, he's a gentleman!

Cullen clan - I love how family-oriented they are and how they try to lead "moral" lives as the un-dead. Plus Carlisle is a fox too...must run in the fam. ;-)

Good vampires - The Cullens live off animal blood and not human blood. YAY! I can hang with these guys. :)

Bad vampires- But most vampires do live off of human blood....and although that creeps me out....the villans in Twilight are pretty awesomely bad!

Easy, fun reads - I will be the first to admit that these books are not high quality writing....but they are fun and enjoyable and sometimes you just need that!

What I HATE about Twilight:

Bella - she's the absolute worst part of the movie (Kristen Stewart....please watch yourself on film, take some acting classes and try again....) and I'm not a huge fan of her in the book.....possibly because I would be a better replacement! HAHA....

Sparkling vampires - I am a fan of the whole "not bursting into flames" in the sunglight thing.....but shiny, sparkily vampires? Sheesh. That's just stupid.

Breaking Dawn - Yeah, should have just stopped with Eclipse.....yikes.

Jacob - I love dogs. I do....but Jacob just bugs the crap out of me. And the whole imprinting on Bella's daughter.....yuck! Now, I did transfer this hatred of Jacob to Taylor Lautner, but he redeemed himself when he did this SNL skit. Watch it!

So, in conclusion.....why has the world and myself fallen under the vampire spell?

I have no clue.

They Shall Walk and Not Faint

All I was planning to do was get my yearly eye exam along with having my eyes dilated. The exam went fine, but when they put in the drops to dilate my eyes, things got scary. I started feeling very sick and a little dizzy, but I figured that was part of the process. After waiting 10 minutes they asked me to put my contacts in. One minute I'm standing at the sink, the next I am on the floor.

BOOM! I fainted.

I don't remember a thing between the sink and the floor and that's terrifying to me. Apparently, I hit my forehead on the sink and was falling back but the assistant that was in the room was able to catch me and guide me to the floor. It's a weird feeling to be standing in one place and then lying in another without knowing how you got there. Oddly enough, when I came to I felt a million times better. I was really shaky and sweaty but I felt fine. Some EMT guys came and checked me out and they let me go home. Fortunately my best friend Sarah was with me and I am so thankful for that. She drove me home and I rested most of the day.

This whole episode has really shaken me up. Not only in the physical sense. It kind of brought to light how I have been feeling in my spiritual life lately: very weak and enervated. The last few weeks I have been very un-disciplined in seeking out the Lord. I just feel like I'm drifting through life. I have not been attending church regularly and I have not been consistent with quiet time and my daily Bible reading. I have also just felt very indifferent to growing spiritually. It's like sometimes I don't even want to try. That is not how I want to live my life.

I do not want to feel weak in this area of my life. I want the strength of Christ to fill me and push me onward. I am so thankful that He was watching out for me today when I fell. But I am glad that God is speaking to me through this experience. I don't want to continue to live my life in this weary pattern I have found myself in. Just like I couldn't remember a thing between the sink and the floor, I don't want to look back on my life and not remember anything either. I want to see God moving in my life. I want to remember seeking Him out daily. I want to be invigorated! Once again, God reminds me that seeking His will and following Him will bring me strength. I trust God to heal me physically and spiritually in the days and weeks to come. I pray He invigorates my faint faith and that I will mount up with wings like eagles! I pray your strength is renewed also! Thanks for reading!

But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Moved to Tears

I saw Toy Story 3 yesterday with my parents (AMAZING movie by the way) and at the end I look over to see tears streaming down my mom's face. Now, it's not hard to make my mother cry. She's been known to cry at many a book and movie over the years. Seeing her yesterday made me think about all the movies that have made me cry. It's funny, but I love it when movies make me cry. It is interesting to me that you can get so wrapped up in a story and feel so close to the characters that you physically cry when something wonderful or tragic happens to them. I absolutely love to laugh, but a good cry is also wonderful, too.

I wanted to list a few of the movies that no matter HOW many times I watch them and I cry like a baby. I've cried in a lot of movies, but these are the ones that I have watched multiple times and cried each time. Comment and let me know what movies make you cry....I love having new movie suggestions!

1. Simon Birch - Don't ever make fun of this movie in front of me. I will punch you straight in the nose. It's one of my favorites and I cry every time!
2. Terms of Endearment - This is such a sad movie., but so good! I won't spoil it for you if you haven't seen it.
3. Father of the Bride Part II- When he holds those two babies in his arms, it's over! :)
4. Armageddon - I know it's a weird one, but when she says goodbye to her Dad I can't help it. I'm a Daddy's girl. :)
5. Life is Beautiful - What a wonderful, heart-wrenching story. The acting is wonderful and I don't care that I have to read subtitles! And the little boy is so precious, as is his father.
6. Steel Magnolias - Just like Terms of Endearment, another mother/daughter relationship flick. Such a funny movie, yet so sad at the same time. HOW DO YOU DO IT JULIA ROBERTS?
7. A Walk to Remember - Geez. Nicolas Sparks just knows how to make you weep.
8. My Girl - I know the ending each time I watch it, but I always hope it will change. Never does. Sigh.


I'm sure there are more, but now I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about these. Emotions are just grand, aren't they?

So, your turn....what makes you cry?

You CAN go home again....

You know that cliche, you can never go home again...I am not sure I buy it. Sure, I understand that when you grow up and leave your childhood home and family, things change and are never the "same" but I truly believe you can still have that "feeling" of home no matter where you are in life. Maybe I feel this way because I have moved so many times in my life I don't truly have "one" childhood home. If you ask me where I'm from I might say Ponca City, OK or perhaps Katy,TX or maybe even Austin. However, if you ask me where did I grow up I would say Lake Charles, LA because that's where I spent 1st through 8th grade and I truly felt like my childhood was spent there. Going "home" at college was strange at first because my parents moved from Katy to Ponca City right after my senior year of college. So my first summer after college was not spent in my high school home, but in my "hometown" that I hadn't lived in for 15 years.

Despite all this moving around, I never felt like I wasn't at home when I would go back to be with my family. Wherever my parents and brother were, that was home. Same with church homes; my family has belonged to three churches (that I can actually remember) and I consider them all to my church home. I still consider FUMC of Ponca City my church home, not because my parents live there (because they don't anymore) but because of the people and the family I gained there.

I have always been close to my family and no matter where we are or what we are doing, I feel love. Now, we have plenty of issues and fights - we are all four very moody people! :) (I'm the ranking queen of moodiness myself) We aren't a picture-perfect family that gets along all the time. BUT we are very close and enjoy spending time together. I think that's why my brother and I have gotten closer to each other and to our parents since we have both left home. We have worked hard at intentionally spending time with our parents and not wanting to drift apart.

Now, back to my entry's title - you CAN go home again. I have always had trouble with change and growing up. I am really enjoying being an adult and living an independent life, but I often miss just being a kid. This weekend trip to Oklahoma with my family reminded me that I'll always have a piece of my childhood with me. It's never gone completely. Driving to Oklahoma with my family reminded me of the many car trips and vacations we took in the past. Even though I am a third year teacher and my brother is a junior, highly successful chemical engineer major at OSU, we easily slipped back into our roles of annoying siblings. It was funny to laugh at all the little quirks my parents still have (my dad's obsession with making good time or my mom's ability to crack herself up) Change is inevitable, but it is comforting me to know that some things don't change even after all these years.

I know soon my brother and I will get married, have kids and start our own families. I hope that we can pass our love for family onto our own families one day. I want my kids to know that they can always come home if they are 18 or 50. My home today is not the same as it was when I was ten, but I always know I can go home.

Summer To Do List

I was inspired by my twin to write down all the things I want to do this summer. Things in bold I have already achieved! :) If you want to help me out with any of these (as in join me on fun summer trips), please let me know!

1. Go to Barton Springs
2. Float the Comal River
3. Read at least 10 books (I have read 2 so I'm getting there)
4. Visit family and friends in Oklahoma
5. Attend Kindergarten Teacher Conference
6. Visit my parents in Katy
7. See Eclipse! :)
8. Go to Fiesta Texas
9. Organize my classroom files
10. Prepare my classroom for next year
11. Go through my clothes and boxes in closet
12. Have My Birthday Extravaganza
13. Hug Allison and Mikey (missionary friends in Africa who come back in July!)
14. Pack all my stuff and MOVE!
15. Get a massage before school starts.


Obviously I have a lot to do before July 27th (Yes, school is back in session then!) If you have any other fun, summer activities I should do, leave me a comment!

I'm so glee-full!

Warning! Lots of spoilers so don't read if you have not seen the finale of Glee and plan on doing so....

Glee's first season has finally ended and I thought it was an absolutely wonderful end to an awesome season. I have been hooked since episode one. What I love about this show is that not only does it have talented actors and amazing covers, the show portrays amazing messages that I feel like are often absent from our culture. Sure, it's unrealistic, but if you are looking for a true to life drama with intense story lines, you probably need to find another show.

As unrealistic as it may be, if you really think about high school and teen life, it's not THAT far off. We have all dealt with cliques, feeling insecure about not fitting in and being bullied, the bully or perhaps even both. As a teacher I am very passionate about ending bullying in schools. It is something I do NOT tolerate in my classroom. I teach my kids that we are a family in our class and we are to treat each other as family. That's why Glee touches me so much - they are a family. They have grown to see past the stereotypes of their school and love each other.

It is so easy in our culture to fall into the trap of judging others by how they look and act or by what they do. It's often much easier to join the crowd and tease those that are "not as cool" as us then be teased by those who are "cooler." I like how Glee pushes the envelope and shows the uniqueness of each character. It touches on gender, racial, sexual orientation and even physical handicapped stereotypes. I love all the characters in the Glee club and mainly because they are all so different, yet so amazing and "cool." It's cool to be a Gleek. :)

This show has really touched me so I wanted to share a few things I have learned from it. Enjoy!

Top 5 Things I have Learned from Glee:

5.Being part of something special makes you special. - As Tina said, Rachel got it right, when you are part of something special, you become special. Now this doesn't mean you become special to everyone else. You find a new sense of meaning, a new confidence, and most likely, you stop caring if others think you are special. (SPOILER ALERT!) I think that's why the kids were upset about not winning regionals, but not crushed. As Rachel said, they didn't care what the judges said. They were the ones who won. These 12 students were all misfits in some way or another, and this group was home to them and they traveled a long way as a family. I hope you all have something special in your life right now. If you have found it or have yet to find it, hold onto it and treasure it. You are special! :)

4. Everyone has some good in them (Yes, even Sue Sylvester) - Now, one of my favorite things about Sue is how EVIL she is. I laugh out the loudest when those outrageous statements come out of her mouth. But my OTHER favorite thing about her (besides her awesome dance moves) is the glimpses of humanity and kindness she shows us. She is not a 2-dimensional TV villain. We saw her loving relationship with her sister; we saw her insecurity and vulnerability over her looks and being rejected by Will; and perhaps my favorite, (another SPOILER!!) we saw her finally SEE the amazing transformation of the Glee club and vote for them to win regionals. She ultimately is the one who convinces the principal to give the club another year to prove themselves. Who knew that the person responsible for the imminent destruction of the Glee club would end being their savior? She has many layers and I look forward to seeing her grow in more seasons (but mainly I look forward to more OUTRAGEOUS comments about Will's hair and failure as a human being)

3. The journey is often more important than the destination - I am SO happy that Glee didn't win regionals. Now, that may sound weird, but I love the message they gave off by their reaction. Mr. Shu even said if they are only concerned about winning then he has failed them and they should just go home. The fact that they get to sing and do what they love should be their concern, not getting the biggest trophy. As evident by choosing all songs by Journey, they were proclaiming the power of their journey and how it has affected them all. Sure, it sucked to lose, but life isn't about winning and losing. It's about LIVING and loving what you are doing.

2. Teachers make a difference in their students' lives.... - Mr. Shuster (or Will) is an amazing teacher. Not only is he committed and talented at his job (and singing), he truly, deeply cares about his students. How many times over the season did he worry and toss and turn over the outcome of the Glee members and their club. His dedication and love for students got them to where they are - confident and full of heart. I cried when his students sang him "To Sir, With Love." Almost all of them were crying too, including Mr. Shu. Finn even compared him to a father figure. I wish there were more teachers out there like that. When you care about your students and set your expectations for them HIGH, they will reach it. This group went along way together and touched each other's lives greatly, which brings me to my final thought....

1. ...and students make a difference in their teachers' lives. - No one can deny that Mr. Shu loves his kids. You could just see it in his eyes as he watched them to sing to him and later when he sang back to them. They were not the only ones who changed. He changed. He found a passion for teaching and went for it. He became more humble, more sacrificing and more loving. I know very well that students can change their teachers lives, for better or for worse. That's my favorite part about teaching - the relationship between student and teacher. I am so thankful there is a show out there showing how teachers should love their students. (Of course, we can't be AS involved as Mr. Shu....that's a wee bit unrealistic) I know that if you let your students change you, you won't regret it. I sure don't. :)

Drowning in Stuff

Summer is a wonderful time for me as a teacher - rest, rejuvenation, time with friends and family....but in addition to all these good things, there is much more time for one dangerous activity: shopping. For those of you who know me, shopping is one of my(if not THE) favorite activities. Some people find shopping boring or a horrendous chore to be avoided at all costs. Not me. I love it. It excites me and relaxes me. I don't think its a bad thing...in moderation. But I have come to notice that as I have begun to be on my own bank roll (instead of my Dad's) I have increased my shopping habit instead of decreasing it. I am good with money, don't get me wrong. I have a budget and I always pay my bills, but I definitely feel I overdo it at times. It is evident by my room and closet, which are both overflowing with stuff.

Now that I have more free time on my hands, I want to really evaluate what I am using my money for. God has graciously provided me with a job that more than meets my monetary needs. I could be doing so much more with my money than buying cute clothes or the next season of Dawson's Creek (yes, I am currently addicted to that show....no mocking please! hah!) I want to simplify my life. I am starting to feel a little overwhelmed with my belongings ( and that may have a lot to do with the fact I will be moving in 2 months) I want to downsize.

So my faithful readers, I am proclaiming to you that I want to reflect on what I have and how I can change my desire for material things. I want to find other ways to spend my time besides shopping. I"m not saying I'm going to give everything away and live life with only the clothes on my back. And I'm definitely not saying I will never go shopping again....I don't feel God telling me to go to that extreme. I do feel Him convicting me though and I ask for your prayers as I seek to change my habits.

Thanks for listening....or um, reading? :)

Being a grown-up is HARD!

No one tells you when you graduate college how incredibly hard the transition into "adulthood" is or at least no one warned me. I remember everyone talking about the big change of going to college and being on your own for the first time, but honestly, as hard as that was, it was cake walk compared to what came next. In college you have a community surrounding you, friends living right down the hall, a set social calendar....things that you take for granted. When you leave college, you have to be much more intentional about all those things and it was very hard for me. It has been two (yes two! ahh!) years since I graduated college and I still feel like I'm having trouble adjusting. It has definitely gotten easier, but sometimes I fall into this funk and just wish I could go back to how it was.

Now, I don't want to be a person always wishing for the "good 'ol days." I mean, college was great, but I don't want to get stuck in the idea that the best is behind me. Donald Miller writes in his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life, "We believe we will be made whole by our accomplishments, our possessions, or our social status. It's written in the fabric of our DNA that life used to be beautiful and now it isn't, and if only this and only that, it would be beautiful again." Sometimes I feel I fall into this trap and that scares me. If only I had this (insert material possession) or if only I was with (insert cute boy) or if only I was back (insert college memory).

Looking forward with hope and patience is easy to say, but not so easy to do. In fact, as a single Christian girl in her early twenties, it is sometimes terrifying and even frustrating. I look around at friend after friend entering serious relationships, getting engaged and tying the knot. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only single girl left in my circle friends. (I'm not, but dang, it's getting close.) I know I'm young and smart and full of potential and there is nothing wrong with being single. But like I said earlier, in addition to college surrounding you with a community, it also provides something else: boys. Believe it or not, even though my college had a VERY small supply of boys, it was more than I have now. I mean, I'm an elementary school teacher....there is like 1 man for every 30 women. Not great odds. In addition to making friends, meeting guys isn't so easy as an adult either.

Being only 23, I am not in a HUGE rush to get married, but hey, people get lonely. And not having that safety net of college to fall back on, being single out in the world can be very scary. Don Miller also writes that ""fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life." I don't want this fear of aloneness cripple my enjoyment of where I am right now as a single woman. I actually started counseling a year and a half ago (more on that in another post) and my counselor helped me map out a few goals of what I want (and CAN) do as a single woman. She helped me see the many opportunities I have now and that I should waste. But in order to not waste it, I have to be INTENTIONAL. An exciting, fulfilling life isn't just going to happen. After thinking about what I want to do NOW, I decided to travel more (NYC, London, soon Portland), join a gym, start painting, and read more. I have the time, why not use it?

Being a grown-up is hard and it does hurt at times, but I no longer want to go back to being a kid or a "pretend adult" in college. I want to look forward and embrace what God has planned for me. The changes He has for me will transform me into the woman He wants me to be.

"...[My friend Marco said] essentially, humans are alive for the purpose of journey, a kind of three-act structure. They are born and spend several years discovering themselves and the world, then plod through a long middle in which they are compelled to search for a mate and reproduce and also create stability out of natural instability and then they find themselves at an ending tha seems to be designed for reflection. At the end, their bodies are slower, they are not as easily distracted, they do less work, and they think and feel about a life lived rather than look forward to a life getting started. He didn't know what the point of the journey was, but he did believe we were designed to search for and find something. And he wondered out loud if the point wasn't the search but the transformation the search creates. ...[I wondered] that we were designed to live through something rather than to attain something, and the thing we were meant to live through was designed to change us. The point of a story is the character arc, the change." (Don Miller)

Another blog? Really, Kim?

I have been wrestling with the idea of doing another blog for a few weeks now and since it is summer vacation and all I figured, why not?

Now first, I thought I should let you know WHY I'm doing this. I already have a blog about teaching, and it was a wonderful outlet for me especially in my difficult first year of teaching. I'm still going to keep it running since I will be taking on solely kindergarten for the first time next year and I will need that outlet again I am sure. :) This year my job has been an amazing escape for me when I have been feeling down emotionally. Honestly I felt less anxious at work then I did at home, which was an odd feeling after my horrible first year experience. Since having a blog during that hard time was so healing for me, I felt like I should have one just about me. Writing has always been a release for me. I doubt I will have anything interesting to say, but for those few of you who actually may read this... enjoy.

Here is what I hope to share on here: everything.

Hah. Ok, that's a bit broad. But honestly I do want to just talk and analyze and vent about every aspect of my life. As you can see from the address, I definitely want to address my faith and relationship with God. I have not often been one to talk about my faith openly with people I am not close to, and I want to try and change that. I am not a biblical expert or theologian, but I want to share what I am learning and how I am changing. If you don't agree with what I say, well, I hope you can respect my beliefs. I will definitely respect and listen to yours if you ever want to share.

I also will talk about silly, day-to-day things....I mean, c'mon...if you know me, you know I can't be serious for too long. :)

I hope you enjoy!