Pray, Pray and Pray!

April was devoted to learning more about prayer. I was pretty discouraged with myself in my lack of discipline in prayer. My goal was to pray for a specific person each day and unfortunately that didn't happen. However, I did begin to form a habit of praying each morning and I know I can continue to work on it until it becomes a natural part of my day. Foster encouraged me in his chapter on prayer saying "we should remember that God always meets us where we are and slowly moves us into deeper things." (p. 35) That made me smile. I have always desired for a deeper prayer life and always get discouraged when I get lazy. Instead of giving up I should celebrate the small steps and continue to move forward with God.

I really enjoyed this chapter and found it to be a very helpful one on my spiritual journey of reflection. Foster emphasizes that of all the spiritual disciplines, prayer "is the most central as it ushers us into perpetual communion withe the Father." (p.33) He describes how it is often discouraging when we think our prayers won't make a difference, but Foster states that the Bible teaches us the importance of prayer and how we are working together with God through prayer.

Also, "real prayer is something we learn." (p.36) Foster studied all the references of prayer in the gospels and found that he was "determined to learn to pray so [his] experiences conformed to the words of Jesus rather that try to make His words conform to [his] impoverished experience." (p.37) In addition to scripture, Foster sought advice from others who had deep prayer lives and began praying for others immediately even though he didn't feel like he was "perfect" at prayer. He goes on to say that "one of the most critical aspects in learning to pray for others is to et in contact with God so that his life and power can flow through us into others." (p.38)

Foster also warns not to make prayer too complicated. He writes that "Jesus taught us to come like children to a father. Openness, honesty and trust mark the communication of children with their father." (p. 38) Foster shared a few stories about children and prayer. I was really touched by the example of his friend who taught emotionally-handicapped children who felt God wanted him to pray for his students. He did not tell the children he was doing this, he simply did it as he worked in the room with them. If a child had a hard time or a meltdown, he would simply pray over the child silently. By the end of the year, most of his students returned to the general education classroom. (p.42-43) Working in a public school does not mean your faith and prayer life cannot exist in your classroom. I pray for my students, but I continue to ask God for discipline to do it more often.

The greatest lesson I took from this chapter is that "we must never wait until we feel like praying before we pray for others" (p.45). I hope to remember this lesson each day.

Since we are in a new month, it is time for a new discipline! Fasting is next! I will be praying over the next few days of what kind of fast (food or something else) God would like me to do.

Thanks for reading!

Lent is OVER!

Well, I survived 6 weeks without facebook. It was actually not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. Honestly for most of it I didn't even notice. What I did notice was that I had a lot more free time, I read a lot more, and I got more done at work during planning time. Go figure. :) I did return to facebook today and even though it was awesome to take a break, I don't think I'll be getting rid of it completely anytime soon. I love staying in touch with people through it and seeing what everyone is up to! I'm glad to be back Facebook....but it's always nice to take a break from you every once in a while.

Shopping was a little bit harder to let go than facebook, but ultimately it was also very rewarding. I have not gone shopping yet, but I'm sure I will sometime this week. It was eye-opening to see how I was tempted to shop when I had free time or was bored. Plus, I saved more money, gave more money away and got rid of a lot of stuff without replacing it with more stuff. Having this fast from shopping helped me see the importance of thinking about what I spend my money on. I hope to continue this mindset as I go into stores asking myself: Do I really need this? or Can I get rid of something to replace this with?

While I was home visiting my parents this weekend, I was going through my old room and helping my mom get rid of things around her house. Fasting from facebook and shopping made me think about the "clutter" in my life both literally and figuratively. Every day I desire to have a more "simple" life that is focused on Jesus and not on "things." This Lenten season reaffirmed this desire and I hope it continues to grow.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! He is RISEN! :)

From Meditation to Prayer

Can anyone else NOT believe it is already April?? I can't. This school year is just flying by! My year through the spiritual disciplines is also flying by! I am halfway through my year of transformation! :) I feel like I've entered a little slump the past few months in keeping up with this blog, but I hoping to get back on track!

March was Meditation month and though I didn't practice meditation as much as I had hoped, I feel like I got a lot out of studying it and attempting to practice it. Meditation was always a mystery to me and I generally saw it as a mystical religious practice of intense concentration. It seemed to difficult for me to even attempt. And honestly, I didn't see it as a "Christian thing."

Foster addressed the difference of Eastern and Christian meditation by saying that "eastern meditation is an attempt to empty the mind; Christian meditation is an attempt to fill the mind." (p. 20) This encouraged me because the idea of clearing my mind completely seemed incredibly too difficult. I am constantly battling an over-thinking brain. However, even though my goal in meditation is to fill the mind, it doesn't mean fill it with worries and to-do lists. Foster describes Christian meditation as "the ability to hear God's voice and obey his word" (p.17) and "in meditation we are growing into...a familiar friendship with Jesus." (p.19) Foster also mentions attachment and detachment saying we must work at "the detachment from the confusion all around us in order to have a richer attachment to God." (p. 21) I am constantly striving to better hear God's voice. One of my greatest struggles is "blocking" God out except in times of great distress and worry. My attitude was If I'm doing OK, I don't really feel like praying. Practicing meditation would not only deepen my intimacy with God, but it would prepare me for those dark times of despair ahead of time instead of scrambling to the surface when I feel as if I'm drowning.

One of my goals in meditation was to really meditate on the relationships I share with people in my family, circle of friends and workplace. It was really interesting to take a step back and think about how and why I interact with others the way I do and to also step into their shoes and try to understand why and how they may act toward me. I think it's a great exercise in helping you treat others with kindness and patience when you otherwise might want to bite their head off! ;-)

April is Prayer month and I am hoping to work more on meditation along with prayer. I will go into more detail about what I have learned about prayer at the end of the month, but here are my goals:

1. Choose a person/couple to pray for intentionally each day of the week (ex. Pray for Bob on Sundays, Lisa on Mondays, Ken and Tina on Tuesdays, etc.) leaving Saturdays free to pray for someone I feel led to pray for. I have chosen my 6 people/couples and I will start on Sunday! I hope I can continue to do this after April. I am such a calendar/to-do list person and I think this will help me be more consistent in my intercessory prayer.

2. Practice "Flash prayers" more intentionally - praying for the needs of others as you notice them.

3. Write in my prayer/gratitude journal at least twice a week (I have been doing once a week, but it often turns into once a month! Trying to be better about that....)

As always, thanks for reading friends!

BB 11

BIG BEND TRIP 2011 (aka BB 11)

Since I can't get on facebook (I will still share my post through facebook...but don't worry, I won't get sucked in to looking around tee hee), I thought I'd share some photos of my Big Bend trip with Sarah on my blog. I am not a big camper, in fact, before college, I would have NEVER gone camping, but this was one of the best trips I have gone on. I had a fantastic time!

Our first hike (Window View) was 5.6 miles round trip! It led us to this beautiful view between two mountains. Below is the lovely Sarah posing at the view. How does she look so beautiful even after a long hike? Who knows! :)

The next day Sarah tricked...I mean encouraged me to push myself and do a 12.6 mile hike. We got up before sunrise and began our hike as the sun was coming up. Unlike the day before where we went down and then back up, this hike began going uphill. It was very steep and it was INCREDIBLY hard. I was way behind Sarah for most of it. I really tried to use this time to meditate and pray to God, but it was very hard as I was so focused on the pain and wanting to be done. Here is me and Sarah at the beginning of our hike, ready to go! I am so blessed to have her as a best friend. I cannot believe I got to spend the whole week with her. :) She is so wonderful and she pushes me to change and become a better person.

The 6 miles up to the South Rim were long and hard, but the view was DEFINITELY worth it (picture below). I couldn't believe I was still in Texas. It was amazing. God's creation is AMAZING! This picture doesn't do it justice. I wish we could have stayed up there longer, but there was still another 6 miles down to go. We made it back down in one piece, but BOY did I hurt everywhere. I still hurt a little now....but I guess no pain, no gain, right? :)

One of my favorite things about camping was waking up when (or before ) the sun rises and going to sleep when the sun sets. And boy, was the sky beautiful. This is a picture of a sun set our second night at Big Bend. I wish I could have captured what the night sky looked like: filled with stars that were bright and all over the place. It was breathtaking!

Hope you enjoyed the pics! I had a wonderful time and I am in even MORE awe of God's creation. What a marvelous Creator He is!

Goals for Meditation

March is the month of meditation! Boy, this is the perfect month to be focusing on that. I have half the month off because of Spring Break so I have plenty of time to push away my busy world and focus on God. I'm also going camping with my best friend next week so I will be pushing away even MORE of my busy world. :)

Here are my goals this month:

1. Meditate at least once a week on the scriptures I have memorized so far this year. Sarah and I have started memorizing 1-2 verses a month so I want to review them and meditate on them this month. My verses are 2 Timothy 1:7, Romans 8:26, Isaiah 40:31, Psalm 34:1, John 15:5

2. Meditate on God's creation - that's where the camping comes in. :)

3. Start the day with meditation . Once I go back to work, instead of being on the computer so much in the morning, I want to start my day with Bible reading and a short meditation. I'm giving up facebook for Lent so that should HELP a lot! :) The main thing I want to focus on in these meditations is CONFIDENCE. I have been feeling less confident in myself lately and I want to focus myself on my identity in Christ.

4. Meditate on people - pay attention to others and myself. I want to really think about how and why I treat others the way I do.

I'll let you know how it goes at the end of the month and what all I have learned from Foster. As always, thanks for reading!! :)

Service

Well, I kind of dropped the ball this month on studying service. I've read most of the chapter but haven't done the questions from the book. And I didn't post my plan for the month. BUT I blame that on how incredibly BUSY February was and how it was also incredibly SHORT. I can also say that February was FULL of seeking to serve others more so I'm happy with myself. :)

I did want to share what I have learned so far from Foster on service. It is another great chapter!

Foster begins by distinguishing service from "self-righteous service." He describes that it:

• comes through human effort
• is impressed with the "big deal"
• requires external rewards
• is highly concerned about results
• picks and chooses whom to serve
• is affected by moods and whims
• is temporary, insensitive and fractures community (pp.128-129)

On the other hand, true service goes hand in hand with humility. "Nothing disciplines the inordinate desires of the flesh like service, and nothing transforms the desires of the flesh like serving in hiddenness." (p.130) "It is one thing to act like a servant; it is quite another to be a servant." (p.134) He goes on to describe how there are many different types of service.

• the service of hiddenness
• the service of small things
• the service of guarding the reputation of others
• the service of being served
• the service of common courtesy
• the service of hospitality
• the service of listening
• the service of bearing the burdens of others
• the service of sharing the word of Life with one another (pp.134-140)

Reading the descriptions of each of these types of service warmed my heart and amazed me. It's incredible how many small ways we can serve each other. Service should not be this huge, complicated showy mess. It is a humble offering. It is a chance to show others the Love of Christ. Jesus is our prime example of the servant leader who took to his knees to wash the feet of his disciples. I hope to view service as a way of life, not simply tasks to check off my to-do list.

Foster provided a prayer that I hope to begin praying each morning when I wake up. "Lord Jesus, as it would please you bring me someone today whom I can serve." (p.140)

Hoping to be more on top of things in March! :) I think the 2-week Spring Break coming up will help with that! Since I already began the inward disciplines, I'm going to jump back and finish them for the next three months. Up next: Meditation!

Nerd Alert!

Well, I am not surprised to find that I loved learning about study this past month. I'm a huge nerd. I love to read and studying God's word this month has been awesome. As I told you earlier, I am also a procrastinator....but I have been working really hard on not doing that in my study of the Bible. I just started a new Bible Study (Breaking Free with Beth Moore) with my two best friends and I am halfway through the homework! Yippee! We don't meet again until Sunday so I may actually finish it on time! Sarah and I are wrapping up our last Beth Moore study (Living the Fruits of the Spirit) and let's just say I hardly ever did the homework on time. It's been really awesome doing one a night. I'm finding that I enjoy it more when it's spread out and I can actually take in what I'm learning. Imagine that!

I have also been trying to pay attention to the little things in my life...but of course, that's been harder than it looks. I enjoyed playing in the snow with Sarah's puppy this morning. It was wonderful to see how excited she was to romp around in it! She just ran and ran and ran in circles around me. I wish I could get that excited about nature! God's creation is amazing! I pray that everyone reading has been able to stay safe and warm during this crazy cold!

Finally, I have definitely been studying myself and how I interact with those around me. As always, there's much room for improvement. Negativity is definitely one of my struggles and I have really tried to see what triggers this tendency:

1. Being tired - I am definitely in a better mood when I get a good's night rest. My stupid allergies have been keeping me up the past few weeks, but for the past few days I have been sleeping much better and I can tell a huge improvement in my mood and how I treat others.

2. Focusing on myself and my troubles- when I get wrapped up in my "little problems" my mood plummets. Everything looks bleak and everyone seems out to get me. It's amazing how self-absorbed I can get...it's also funny that it took a little self-reflection to realize this. haha Also, I can tell a huge difference in my mood when I am serving others. I have been working in the nursery at church in January and even though it's been hard, I am always in a good mood after I leave. It's wonderful to help others and focus on them instead of your own life. Plus, 2-year olds are just adorable. :)

3. Shutting God out/believing lies- I actually had a couple breakdowns a few weeks ago where I just cried and cried and cried. Instead of crying out to God, I believed horrible lies about my friends and myself and fell into the trap of self-pity. I really hope to get into the habit of praying every day so it will be natural for me to turn to God in prayer when I am feeling down.

Once again, I had another awesome month. I love learning more about these disciplines and I love sharing it with you! Thanks for reading....coming up....SERVICE! :)