Foster starts this chapter off saying "Jesus calls us from loneliness to solitude." (p.96) Boy, do I need that! This chapter honestly scared me a little as I really struggle with being alone. I suffer from depression and it rears its ugly head ferociously when I have been alone for long periods of time. I'm an extrovert - I feel energized after spending time with people. My thoughts turn sad and dark when I feel loneliness creep upon me. It's not a fun place to be. So naturally, I wasn't thrilled with the idea of practicing solitude. But this just showed me how important this discipline is for me to learn and I am glad to be doing it for my second month. I feel it will strengthen my ability to practice the inward disciplines, especially prayer and meditation.
My fear of studying solitude quickly disappeared as I read this chapter more thoroughly. I was excited to see how working on the discipline of solitude could actually help with my depression. Foster writes later that "we can cultivate an inner solitude and silence that sets us free from loneliness and fear. Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment." (p. 96) I LOVE that last sentence: inner fulfillment. My time alone does not have to be spent worrying about tomorrow or wishing I was spending time with someone else. My time alone can be spent being filled with the Spirit of God.
Foster also emphasizes that we should not seek constant solitude. You need both fellowship and solitude in your life. He writes that "we must seek out the recreating stillness of solitude if we want to be with others meaningfully." (p. 98) It's all about balance, my friends. That seems to be my theme for this year. Balance. :)
I am looking forward to this month, but I know it will be difficult. Please pray for me! Here is what I have decided as my goals for this month -
1. Take a break from facebook for the rest of November. I feel like facebook is mainly just a way for me to CONSTANTLY be in contact with people. Just another way to never be alone. I don't want to quit it completely because I feel like it's an excellent way to keep in touch with people and connect with people from my past. But I do need a break. This also relates to the discipline of simplicity as facebook really does complicate my life at times....wasting away precious hours. :)
2. Take advantage of "little solitudes" I find throughout the day. Foster gives the examples of sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic or the moments before you get up in the morning or slipping outside to enjoy the night before going to bed. He writes that "these tiny snatches of time are often lost to us....they are little moments that help us to be genuinely present where we are." (p. 106) I have several little solitudes (before AM duty, lunch break, planning period) during the school day I could take advantage of and use to rejuvenate. I pray God will help me use them more wisely! :)
3. Take 3-4 prayer walks this month. I find it so hard to pray to God and really LISTEN to Him when I am just sitting or laying in my bed. I would love to take time to walk out in God's creation and seek His heart.
4. Try to live one ENTIRE day without words at all. This one will be a toughie. :) I love to talk. I love to text and email and chat and call and laugh and....well, you get the picture. I think it would be INCREDIBLY interesting to see how a day goes without using any words or form of communication. Obviously, I couldn't do this while teaching. :) HAH! That would be hilarious though. I do have a couple bossy kids I could put in charge, but I doubt that would last for the whole day. My plan is to do this on Saturday, November 20th. If you think about it, pray for me on that day. Pray that I am able to hear from God and really clear my head from all the distractions of life. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes. :)
Well, once again, thanks for reading friends! I'll be sure to keep you updated as the month goes on. This should be another great month!
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