Goals for Meditation

March is the month of meditation! Boy, this is the perfect month to be focusing on that. I have half the month off because of Spring Break so I have plenty of time to push away my busy world and focus on God. I'm also going camping with my best friend next week so I will be pushing away even MORE of my busy world. :)

Here are my goals this month:

1. Meditate at least once a week on the scriptures I have memorized so far this year. Sarah and I have started memorizing 1-2 verses a month so I want to review them and meditate on them this month. My verses are 2 Timothy 1:7, Romans 8:26, Isaiah 40:31, Psalm 34:1, John 15:5

2. Meditate on God's creation - that's where the camping comes in. :)

3. Start the day with meditation . Once I go back to work, instead of being on the computer so much in the morning, I want to start my day with Bible reading and a short meditation. I'm giving up facebook for Lent so that should HELP a lot! :) The main thing I want to focus on in these meditations is CONFIDENCE. I have been feeling less confident in myself lately and I want to focus myself on my identity in Christ.

4. Meditate on people - pay attention to others and myself. I want to really think about how and why I treat others the way I do.

I'll let you know how it goes at the end of the month and what all I have learned from Foster. As always, thanks for reading!! :)

Service

Well, I kind of dropped the ball this month on studying service. I've read most of the chapter but haven't done the questions from the book. And I didn't post my plan for the month. BUT I blame that on how incredibly BUSY February was and how it was also incredibly SHORT. I can also say that February was FULL of seeking to serve others more so I'm happy with myself. :)

I did want to share what I have learned so far from Foster on service. It is another great chapter!

Foster begins by distinguishing service from "self-righteous service." He describes that it:

• comes through human effort
• is impressed with the "big deal"
• requires external rewards
• is highly concerned about results
• picks and chooses whom to serve
• is affected by moods and whims
• is temporary, insensitive and fractures community (pp.128-129)

On the other hand, true service goes hand in hand with humility. "Nothing disciplines the inordinate desires of the flesh like service, and nothing transforms the desires of the flesh like serving in hiddenness." (p.130) "It is one thing to act like a servant; it is quite another to be a servant." (p.134) He goes on to describe how there are many different types of service.

• the service of hiddenness
• the service of small things
• the service of guarding the reputation of others
• the service of being served
• the service of common courtesy
• the service of hospitality
• the service of listening
• the service of bearing the burdens of others
• the service of sharing the word of Life with one another (pp.134-140)

Reading the descriptions of each of these types of service warmed my heart and amazed me. It's incredible how many small ways we can serve each other. Service should not be this huge, complicated showy mess. It is a humble offering. It is a chance to show others the Love of Christ. Jesus is our prime example of the servant leader who took to his knees to wash the feet of his disciples. I hope to view service as a way of life, not simply tasks to check off my to-do list.

Foster provided a prayer that I hope to begin praying each morning when I wake up. "Lord Jesus, as it would please you bring me someone today whom I can serve." (p.140)

Hoping to be more on top of things in March! :) I think the 2-week Spring Break coming up will help with that! Since I already began the inward disciplines, I'm going to jump back and finish them for the next three months. Up next: Meditation!

Nerd Alert!

Well, I am not surprised to find that I loved learning about study this past month. I'm a huge nerd. I love to read and studying God's word this month has been awesome. As I told you earlier, I am also a procrastinator....but I have been working really hard on not doing that in my study of the Bible. I just started a new Bible Study (Breaking Free with Beth Moore) with my two best friends and I am halfway through the homework! Yippee! We don't meet again until Sunday so I may actually finish it on time! Sarah and I are wrapping up our last Beth Moore study (Living the Fruits of the Spirit) and let's just say I hardly ever did the homework on time. It's been really awesome doing one a night. I'm finding that I enjoy it more when it's spread out and I can actually take in what I'm learning. Imagine that!

I have also been trying to pay attention to the little things in my life...but of course, that's been harder than it looks. I enjoyed playing in the snow with Sarah's puppy this morning. It was wonderful to see how excited she was to romp around in it! She just ran and ran and ran in circles around me. I wish I could get that excited about nature! God's creation is amazing! I pray that everyone reading has been able to stay safe and warm during this crazy cold!

Finally, I have definitely been studying myself and how I interact with those around me. As always, there's much room for improvement. Negativity is definitely one of my struggles and I have really tried to see what triggers this tendency:

1. Being tired - I am definitely in a better mood when I get a good's night rest. My stupid allergies have been keeping me up the past few weeks, but for the past few days I have been sleeping much better and I can tell a huge improvement in my mood and how I treat others.

2. Focusing on myself and my troubles- when I get wrapped up in my "little problems" my mood plummets. Everything looks bleak and everyone seems out to get me. It's amazing how self-absorbed I can get...it's also funny that it took a little self-reflection to realize this. haha Also, I can tell a huge difference in my mood when I am serving others. I have been working in the nursery at church in January and even though it's been hard, I am always in a good mood after I leave. It's wonderful to help others and focus on them instead of your own life. Plus, 2-year olds are just adorable. :)

3. Shutting God out/believing lies- I actually had a couple breakdowns a few weeks ago where I just cried and cried and cried. Instead of crying out to God, I believed horrible lies about my friends and myself and fell into the trap of self-pity. I really hope to get into the habit of praying every day so it will be natural for me to turn to God in prayer when I am feeling down.

Once again, I had another awesome month. I love learning more about these disciplines and I love sharing it with you! Thanks for reading....coming up....SERVICE! :)

Study

Well, I meant to update this a few weeks ago, but life and procrastination got in the way! Oh well, better late than never I say! :) I also made a slight mistake in going to study next. I thought it was the final outward discipline, but in fact, it is an inward discipline. So I am taking a different course than I intended!

This month is all about the discipline of study. I have a love/hate relationship with studying. Throughout school I was always an excellent student and I loved to learn. I was a nerd (I admit it proudly) and I was always excited about school. However, I was also a huge procrastinator. I was one of those people who waited until the day before a huge exam or a huge paper and stayed up reeeeally late to do it. My lowest moment was finals week of my senior year of college in the fall semester. I was super sick and had a ton to do. I had so much that I did not one, but TWO all-nighters. YUCK! I survived though. I worked well under pressure, I suppose.

I enjoyed reading about study. Foster writes that the purpose of these disciplines is the "total transformation of the person. The aim at replacing old destructive habits of thoughts with new life-giving habits." (p. 62) He says that study is a prime example of this. In this new year, I am hoping to get into the habit of studying the Bible each day. I struggle with negative thoughts and emotions at times, and I know that God's word can be my greatest weapon against these things. My best friend and I have started a challenge for the year 2011 in memorizing 2 verses a month for this year. We keep each other accountable and check in at the beginning and middle of each month. I am on my second verse and I already am seeing results in my thought process. Even just focusing on one verse can be very powerful.

Foster writes about the four steps of study, and I have tried to use them in helping memorize my verses.

1. Repetition

2. Concentration

3. Comprehension

4. Reflection

In addition to applying these steps in memorizing my verses, I have been trying to apply it to my daily BIble reading. At the end of 2010, I had read through the Bible for the second time. However, once again, it was in huge chunks and not each day. I got into the bad habit of not reading for a few months and then catching up over a few weeks and then starting over again. Learning about study this month has really pushed me to strive to read the Bible each day. Reading huge chunks of the Bible at once leaves no room for concentration, comprehension and especially not reflection.

Foster also tells about how we should place high priority in the "interpretation" of scripture, not solely the "application" of it to our lives (p.69) Foster states that many people rush to the application stage. "They want to know what it means for them before they know what it means!" (p. 69) I pray God will help me this year to really soak in His word and focus on what it means as a whole, not just how it applies to me.

In addition to Scripture and other books of Christian literature, Foster talks about the study of "nonverbal" books. He begins by talking about nature saying merely we need to PAY ATTENTION. (p. 73) I can't even count all the times I have been so wrapped up in "life" or my to-do list that I have failed to notice the beautiful sunrise on my commute to work. Or I have missed a rainbow after a rainstorm because I am too busy complaining about my busy life. I am in great need of studying nature and just being out in God's creation with Him.

Foster also encourages us to study human relationships including ours with our family, friends and neighbors. He warns not to do this with judgment, but simply with the desire to learn. We should also study ourselves: "We should learn the things that control us. We observe our inner feelings and mood swings. What controls our moods? Why do we like certain people and dislike others? What do these things teach us about ourselves?" (p.75)

This chapter was very short, but full of great advice for training my mind and spirit. I pray God will continue to transform me and change my bad habits to good. Foster ends the chapter saying "study produces joy." I already have a joyful attitude toward most studying and I hope to grow it in my study of scripture, nature and people.

Thanks for reading!

Hi Kim, it's me, God!

Well, after a month of praying and thinking about submission, I realize that I have a long ways to go. Sometimes it's hard for me to know where God wants me and what He wants me to do....and other times I know exactly what to do, but I just don't want to. It's so hard to give up that desire to be in control and have your own way. What a blessing it is to put others before yourself. I pray 2011 will be the year of OTHERS for me. I'm so sick of my self-obsessed nature. Jesus commanded us to love the Lord our God AND love our neighbors as ourselves. I have not done either well. I am earnestly seeking for God to transform my heart to love like Him.

It was interesting to focus more on how I treated others this month. I was surprised (and saddened) to see how often I chose myself over others. I also saw this horrible habit rear its ugly head when I was home with my family. Why is it so much easier to treat others with kindness and patience, but turn around and treat your own family horribly. I know I need to show my family more love and respect. I mean, no offense to anyone else, but I have the best family EVER! Seriously. Your parents may be alright, but mine are the BEST! :) I realize more and more each day how blessed I am to have them and my younger brother. I ask for God to help show me where I need to "grow up" in regards to my relationship with them. I love you Mama and Daddy and Mark!

God really revealed to me how he wants to change my life. In many ways. Now I have a lifetime to tackle them, but I know He wants me to get started....uhh, TODAY! I wanted to share the main ones with you that I felt God reveal to me this month.

1. GET HEALTHY! - As I told you a few months ago, my cholesterol was way too high. I recently got the results from my recent blood work back and my cholesterol went down 30 points! HOORAY! Now, I am in the normal level BUT my HDL (good cholesterol) is way to low and my LDL (bad) is WAY WAY too high. I want to continue to make healthier eating choices and I want to get into a CONSISTENT workout routine. I have made a goal to lose 15 pounds by August (maid of honor time! haha) I want to get back to my college weight. High school weight seems to lofty haha! I'll keep you updated on how that's going!

2. STUDY HIS WORD - I just finished reading the Bible through for the 2nd time, but I honestly feel like I retained nothing. I got into the bad habit of not reading for a few months and then reading HUGE chunks at a time to catch up. I want to continue to reading the Bible in a year, but I want to actually read small amounts each day so I actually retain something! :)

3. INTIMACY WITH GOD - This is one God has been trying to work with me on for...umm...FOREVER! My prayer life is well, inconsistent and usually involves despair. I want to meet with God in times of gladness and sadness. In an effort to help me along, I got a gratitude prayer journal. My plan is start out with once a week and hopefully work up to daily.

4. GIVE UP CONTROL - Yeah, I tend to give God control on "some" things in my life, but not others....one BIG one in particular (relationships)....

Well, my friends. I hope you had a wonderful New Year's Eve and I look forward to sharing more of my journey in 2011. I will be back soon to tell you about January's discipline-STUDY! :) (the nerd in me is super excited about this month!)

Submission

I have to be honest - I wasn't thrilled with the idea of focusing on submission. I have always had this distorted view of submission as a bad thing. I just saw it as a form of oppression (men over women, master over slave, etc.) After reading this chapter I realize how incredibly wrong I was. I really think this may be my favorite discipline so far.

Foster starts off saying that the whole reason we have discipline is freedom. He writes that "every Discipline has its corresponding freedom. What freedom corresponds to submission? It is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way."

Wow. How incredibly difficult and wonderful that sounds. It has really been interesting to look at how I interact with others and think about how often I want "to get my own way." God asks us to let go of our need to be right and allow us to focus our concern on Him and our neighbors.

I have definitely found the most difficult place for me to "submit" is at work. It's so tempting to complain and moan and grown when I don't get my way. Or to gossip and look down on others who I think are making my life (and even their own life) miserable. I pray God can continue to mold my heart into a servant's heart, especially at work. There are so many little things that get me down at work that don't matter. Instead, I should be seeking out opportunities to serve the needs of others instead of complaining about how my needs are being met.

Foster says the best way to handle matters of submission is to say nothing. Another hard one for me. I definitely don't have as much trouble in the moment with a person in saying nothing. But I do tend to complain or worry or analyze about people or situations I can't control. How wonderful it would be to just say nothing and let it go.

I hope to seek out ways to show my submission to others. And I don't just mean to those "in authority." Foster lists 7 Acts of Submission:

1. Triune God

2. Scripture

3. Family

4. Neighbors, people in daily life

5. Believing community

6. Broken and despised

7. The World

This month I wanted to focus on two areas of submission. I desperately want to seek more time with God (especially in solitude) in daily prayer where I simply listen for His will. The other area I want to focus on is my neighbors and those I interact with on a daily basis.

I will end with a verse from Philippians that kind of sums up where I am seeking my heart to go:

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interest of others." (Phillipians 2:3-4)

From Solitude to Submission

Well, it's month three of my Discipline adventure. Month 2 on Solitude did not go as well as month 1 of Simplicity, but like I said at the beginning, this year is not about "mastering" each discipline in a month. It's about jump-starting my desire to work at them for the rest of my life. I also think God really wants me to work on simplifying my life and finances and direct them more towards Him so I got more out of that month.

I am finding that each discipline is interconnected with the other disciplines so I have may more chances to work on all of them. EXCITING! I was able to do a whole day of not speaking and that was incredibly convicting. I really saw how much I depend on speech to defend myself, complain, whine, gossip....it was actually quite liberating to just sit and listen all day.

I have read the chapter on Submission, my next discipline, and I am very excited about this month. I will definitely be seeking out more times of solitude this month. I look forward to sharing more with you, but I have been sick all weekend so I'm little tired and out of it so I'll be signing off!

Thanks for reading! :)