Submission

I have to be honest - I wasn't thrilled with the idea of focusing on submission. I have always had this distorted view of submission as a bad thing. I just saw it as a form of oppression (men over women, master over slave, etc.) After reading this chapter I realize how incredibly wrong I was. I really think this may be my favorite discipline so far.

Foster starts off saying that the whole reason we have discipline is freedom. He writes that "every Discipline has its corresponding freedom. What freedom corresponds to submission? It is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way."

Wow. How incredibly difficult and wonderful that sounds. It has really been interesting to look at how I interact with others and think about how often I want "to get my own way." God asks us to let go of our need to be right and allow us to focus our concern on Him and our neighbors.

I have definitely found the most difficult place for me to "submit" is at work. It's so tempting to complain and moan and grown when I don't get my way. Or to gossip and look down on others who I think are making my life (and even their own life) miserable. I pray God can continue to mold my heart into a servant's heart, especially at work. There are so many little things that get me down at work that don't matter. Instead, I should be seeking out opportunities to serve the needs of others instead of complaining about how my needs are being met.

Foster says the best way to handle matters of submission is to say nothing. Another hard one for me. I definitely don't have as much trouble in the moment with a person in saying nothing. But I do tend to complain or worry or analyze about people or situations I can't control. How wonderful it would be to just say nothing and let it go.

I hope to seek out ways to show my submission to others. And I don't just mean to those "in authority." Foster lists 7 Acts of Submission:

1. Triune God

2. Scripture

3. Family

4. Neighbors, people in daily life

5. Believing community

6. Broken and despised

7. The World

This month I wanted to focus on two areas of submission. I desperately want to seek more time with God (especially in solitude) in daily prayer where I simply listen for His will. The other area I want to focus on is my neighbors and those I interact with on a daily basis.

I will end with a verse from Philippians that kind of sums up where I am seeking my heart to go:

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interest of others." (Phillipians 2:3-4)

From Solitude to Submission

Well, it's month three of my Discipline adventure. Month 2 on Solitude did not go as well as month 1 of Simplicity, but like I said at the beginning, this year is not about "mastering" each discipline in a month. It's about jump-starting my desire to work at them for the rest of my life. I also think God really wants me to work on simplifying my life and finances and direct them more towards Him so I got more out of that month.

I am finding that each discipline is interconnected with the other disciplines so I have may more chances to work on all of them. EXCITING! I was able to do a whole day of not speaking and that was incredibly convicting. I really saw how much I depend on speech to defend myself, complain, whine, gossip....it was actually quite liberating to just sit and listen all day.

I have read the chapter on Submission, my next discipline, and I am very excited about this month. I will definitely be seeking out more times of solitude this month. I look forward to sharing more with you, but I have been sick all weekend so I'm little tired and out of it so I'll be signing off!

Thanks for reading! :)

I am thankful for....

Thanksgiving has come and gone. It was another wonderful time spent with family and friends. I am currently in Oklahoma with my parents and brother. We spent Thanksgiving with my aunt and uncle, my cousin and her husband and their adorable baby, Elise, my uncle's mother and my grandfather. We had a delicious meal (my aunt and cousin are wonderful cooks and my cousin's husband is a chef!) and a great visit. I am so thankful for my family. I decided to make a list of the things I am thankful for so here goes!

My parents and their unconditional love

My brother and his girlfriend, Carrie

My grandparents in heaven

My Granddaddy who is still with us

My aunts and uncles and cousins and their families

Thanksgiving meals with my family

Time off from my job :)

My teammates and co-workers

Having a job I love and being able to support myself

My students

My friends

My roommate Sarah and her dog (my niece) Mattie

Having a home

Being able to apply to grad school

Visiting Oklahoma and safe travel

Books and a love for reading

Sleep (and getting more sleep on vacation)

Prayer and time with God

Braum's milk (oh, how I miss you Braum's)

Movies in 3D :) (Tangled and MegaMind were AWESOME!)

Watching movies with friends

Laughter

Pictures and the memories they capture

My computer and its ability to help me stay connected to others

My health

My mental health :)

My counselor

Support of my friends and family

Being able to worship in my church with fear of persecution

Soldiers and troops protecting our country

My loving church family

My mentor, Brenda

My small group

Reading the Bible

Wow....I am blessed. The more I have studied solitude this month, the more God has shown me the important of balance in growing a more intimate relationship with Him and serving and loving the body of Christ. Both are vital and important.

I am thankful for you all....hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

A note from Granny

I am currently at my parents' house in Katy visiting them for the weekend. For my past few visits, I have been trying to go through the stuff in my "room" at their house. I have too much stuff ESPECIALLY since I don't live with them anymore. I just finished going through my desk and I found tons of letters and cards I have received over the years. I wanted to share one in particular with you.

I found a note with music and hearts on the front to find the familiar script of my grandmother on the inside. She and I wrote to each other fairly regularly over the years especially when I went to college. I loved getting notes from her in college even though it was sad to see how she was growing weaker and her memory was not as sharp. Even her handwriting was not the same as I saw it was very messy and uncontrolled.

This note had definitely been written years ago. Her handwriting was extremely neat and tidy (the handwriting I remember) and her memory was as sharp as ever. And she signed it Love, Grandpa and Granny. My grandpa had passed away in 2000 so this note was from a ways back. She mentioned that she got a picture from me holding a music award and that she was not surprised I had made the newspaper staff so this note must have been sent when I was in 7th grade (1998). I apparently wrote an article about "The Perfect Teacher" and had sent it to her. She praised it and told me that I "have knowledge beyond your years about a school teacher's life." That made me cry and smile. :)

My grandmother has always been my main inspiration for wanting to become a teacher. I always looked up to her and wanted to be like her. Losing her last January was extremely hard on me...much harder than I expected. I miss her everyday, but I know she's at peace now and that comforts me. I am also thankful that she was able to live to see me become a teacher.

I love you Granny and Grandpa...I miss you both dearly.

Solitude

Well, after a week of studying the discipline of solitude, I wanted to share with you what I have learned.

Foster starts this chapter off saying "Jesus calls us from loneliness to solitude." (p.96) Boy, do I need that! This chapter honestly scared me a little as I really struggle with being alone. I suffer from depression and it rears its ugly head ferociously when I have been alone for long periods of time. I'm an extrovert - I feel energized after spending time with people. My thoughts turn sad and dark when I feel loneliness creep upon me. It's not a fun place to be. So naturally, I wasn't thrilled with the idea of practicing solitude. But this just showed me how important this discipline is for me to learn and I am glad to be doing it for my second month. I feel it will strengthen my ability to practice the inward disciplines, especially prayer and meditation.

My fear of studying solitude quickly disappeared as I read this chapter more thoroughly. I was excited to see how working on the discipline of solitude could actually help with my depression. Foster writes later that "we can cultivate an inner solitude and silence that sets us free from loneliness and fear. Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment." (p. 96) I LOVE that last sentence: inner fulfillment. My time alone does not have to be spent worrying about tomorrow or wishing I was spending time with someone else. My time alone can be spent being filled with the Spirit of God.

Foster also emphasizes that we should not seek constant solitude. You need both fellowship and solitude in your life. He writes that "we must seek out the recreating stillness of solitude if we want to be with others meaningfully." (p. 98) It's all about balance, my friends. That seems to be my theme for this year. Balance. :)

I am looking forward to this month, but I know it will be difficult. Please pray for me! Here is what I have decided as my goals for this month -

1. Take a break from facebook for the rest of November. I feel like facebook is mainly just a way for me to CONSTANTLY be in contact with people. Just another way to never be alone. I don't want to quit it completely because I feel like it's an excellent way to keep in touch with people and connect with people from my past. But I do need a break. This also relates to the discipline of simplicity as facebook really does complicate my life at times....wasting away precious hours. :)

2. Take advantage of "little solitudes" I find throughout the day. Foster gives the examples of sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic or the moments before you get up in the morning or slipping outside to enjoy the night before going to bed. He writes that "these tiny snatches of time are often lost to us....they are little moments that help us to be genuinely present where we are." (p. 106) I have several little solitudes (before AM duty, lunch break, planning period) during the school day I could take advantage of and use to rejuvenate. I pray God will help me use them more wisely! :)

3. Take 3-4 prayer walks this month. I find it so hard to pray to God and really LISTEN to Him when I am just sitting or laying in my bed. I would love to take time to walk out in God's creation and seek His heart.

4. Try to live one ENTIRE day without words at all. This one will be a toughie. :) I love to talk. I love to text and email and chat and call and laugh and....well, you get the picture. I think it would be INCREDIBLY interesting to see how a day goes without using any words or form of communication. Obviously, I couldn't do this while teaching. :) HAH! That would be hilarious though. I do have a couple bossy kids I could put in charge, but I doubt that would last for the whole day. My plan is to do this on Saturday, November 20th. If you think about it, pray for me on that day. Pray that I am able to hear from God and really clear my head from all the distractions of life. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes. :)

Well, once again, thanks for reading friends! I'll be sure to keep you updated as the month goes on. This should be another great month!

From Simplicity to Solitude

Well, I made it through one month of discipline-mania! :) I am really glad I started out with simplicity. I learned so much about how seeking God's Kingdom first and laying all my anxieties at His feet truly simplifies my life. I still have a long way to go, but I feel ready to make more changes in mu everyday life.

My shopping fast was a huge eye opener. For one, my bank account is MUCH larger than it usually is at the first of the month. My credit card bill was about a third of last month's. It's incredible how much I spent on stuff I obviously didn't need. I went shopping with a friend on Sunday and it was amazing how my mindset had changed in what I thought I "needed" to get. I am hoping this will stay with me. This fast also showed me that when I'm bored or stressed, there are many other ways I can spend my time beside shopping. :) I also found I can even go to a store and GASP! not buy anything.

There is plenty I still want to work on even though the months is over. I am still praying about how God wants me to give to others more both financially and with my own time. I also need to continue to not be anxious about ANYTHING and give it all to GOd in prayer.

I am very excited about this year since this first month was so awesome! Stay tuned for my plans in November with SOLITUDE. :)

Healthy living....a'int so easy!

Well, I'm still plugging away at trying to lower my cholesterol. I go back in a few weeks to be re-tested so prayers would be appreciated!

On one hand, I have been doing really well. I have been exercising 4 times a week for the past couple of months. I have been running, weight lifting and even swimming some. I have really enjoyed being more active. I am hoping this will really help my numbers go down...I know it has to a little because before my physical I was going to the gym like once a month. :)

My eating habits have been harder to change. The first few weeks I was doing really well: cooking more at home, eating more fruits and veggies. These past few weeks though I have slipped a little: eating out more, getting ice cream A LOT. I am going to the grocery store today and I made a list of meals to make so I am hoping to get back on track. I have noticed a major difference in my ordering habits though. I am trying to make healthier choices like a side salad or fruit instead of french fries or brown rice instead of fried.

I do know that I need to work harder on eating better. Prayers in that area would be appreciate too. :)